How to stop a train

OK someday I will have a normal, uneventful journey somewhere, but it hasn't happened yet.

Today I got to Waterloo, and was 10 minutes into walking to college, half way across the bridge, when I suddenly went cold and stopped. I had left my glasses on the train. I stopped and realised that I had to sprint back like a mongoose to stop the train leaving.

Having pegged it to Waterloo I asked official #1 which platform the train was on. I shot to the platform he indicated and searched the far carriage carefully. No sign.

Official #2 told me to go to the station reception, which is inconveniently outside the station. I went there and official #3 told me another platform. I went to this platform and realised immediately that the train there wasn't the one I had come on. official number 4 agreed that it was blue and not white. He hadn't seen my glasses. Return to official #2 who told me to go to another platform. Official #5 on that platform showed me an empty box and shrugged his shoulders. Back to official #3 at the station reception. Suitably pleased that I had worn myself out and was therefore genuine, he fiddled about, decided that the train had left for Alton, and promised to telephone the conductor and tell him to search the carriage.

Crestfallen and in despair, I walked out of the station. Half way to college I suddenly stopped, checked my shirt pocket in which my glasses sat, unaware that they had shortened my life.